Thursday, September 25, 2008
What's in a name(brand)?
It's that special time again, where I feel the need to share with you a product I am currently obsessing on. The above picture should clue you in on what that product is. Did I just end two sentences with prepositions? Is "on" a preposition? Oh, screw it - moving right along.
It was actually my mother-in-law who turned me on to these one Sunday when she added them into a salad. Of course hers was the generic version from Aldi's, because GOD FORBID she not find a way to promote that store during any given meal. I swear, they should pay her commission. But I loved them in the salad and the next time I went shopping I picked up a bag of the fancy Ocean Spray variety, which cost a whole .25 cents more.
I guess this is why they're rich and we're poor - I like to spring for the good stuff. Don't you try to tell me "Fruit Rings" are just as good as Fruit Loops or that you can't tell the difference between "Toasty O's" and my beloved Cheerios - I will smack a bitch.Sorry. But I'm still scarred from back-to-school shopping in 9th grade when I had to wear Hunt Club shirts by JCPenney instead of Polo by Ralph Lauren. Polo had the little horse and jockey emblem and Hunt Club only had the horse! What kind of bullshit is that! And no Keds for us, oh no - we had to suffer with PLAIN WHITE sneakers without the telling, all-important little blue tag on the back. God, the fashion flashbacks are enough to send me into a state of panic-shopping.
However, as much as I dislike off-brand products, I do admit I have an unnatural love for the names they come up with. Do you know how many versions of Dr. Pepper there are out there alone? I've seen the following: Dr. Perky, Dr. Popper, Dr. Bold, and Dr. Topper. And Mountain Dew? Why, you have your choice there as well with: Mountain Lightning, Mountain Yeller, and my favorite: Mountain Holler. The reason that's my favorite? I showed it to Brian once and he said, "Mountain Holler? What is that, some kind of redneck porno?"
And on that note, I will leave you because according to my fake Gucci watch, it's almost time to go home and whip up some Shake 'n Bake porkchops, Uncle Ben's rice and Jello No-Bake Cheesecake!