At least she doesn’t do the white glove test

I can't believe I haven't flogged since Sunday! This might be a record for me, and speaks to how busy yet simultaneously lazy I've been. Painting that damn bathroom really must've taken a lot out of me, I tell you. But the end result is awesome, and that's what I was going for - awesome. I'd been wanting to paint it, oh, pretty much since we moved in a year ago August and so I figured it was time. I have company coming this week, and that's when I find myself doing crazy things like painting things, making sure the linens are clean and dusting all reachable surfaces.
Okay, so it's not like my mother or mother-in-law is coming to visit. No. It's worse. Grace is my best friend and has been for over twenty years, which is why she will understand what I'm about to tell you with regards to her. She is a mean, evil bitch. I say that in the most loving way possible.

She's seen almost all the houses I've lived in over the years - the good, the bad and the downright condemned. She's always willing to lend a hand when it comes to pain-in-the-ass things like helping me pack, move and redecorate. She and I even moved a couch into my house once, something that should've been physically and mathematically impossible, yet we did it through sheer force of will.

BUT. Every time she comes to visit a new house for the first time, she always finds something I've done to laugh at. Usually it's the fact that I've hung a set of curtains upside down and sadly that has happened more than once. A lot more than once. And believe me, I've gone around this week to every room to make sure I haven't done it again, though that doesn't mean much, because to me they look right. Damn it, if she finds this again, she's going to throw up/fall to the ground from laughing so hard.

She's also the one who pointed out (correctly) long ago my houses always have two very distinctive characteristics. Good trees and bad light fixtures. And dammit, this house is no different. Especially the bathroom, which is why I'm going shopping for a new one today. I'm not even kidding - I've lived with it for over a year, but because she's coming, I'm getting rid of it. I refuse to be the source of her ridicule any longer!

There is a good side to this sad story though. She's known me long enough so that I don't have to clean any better than I normally would, because she knows to expect things like Brian's books, newspapers and general detrius will be surrounding him in a three foot radius in whatever room he happens to be in. Clean laundry folded in the bedrooms but not put away. Dog hair in every corner. So no pressure there, which is a big relief. It gives me more time to inspect the curtains one last time and sit outside on the porch enjoying the beautiful trees in my yard.