Things are feeling really weird around here. I don't feel quite as stabby at the moment, but what's up with these Wellbutrin pills. I've been reading about them all morning, trying to see if other people talk about having weird side effects and the answer to that is a resounding YES. I have a metallic taste in my mouth like I'm sucking on a penny. I had totally bizarre dreams all night long, none of which I remember. I keep nodding out like a G-D junkie, and every time I do, I have a short little dream-like thing. What. The. Fuck.
If you are an ex-smoker, here is my plea to you now. Can you please share with me HOW THE FUCK YOU DID IT??? I'm taking any and all ideas, seriously. Although if you've never been a smoker, I don't need to hear from you. Because you have no idea what I'm talking about and lucky you. Lucky you, Schmucky me. I do feel like a schmuck. I didn't even START smoking until I was like 22 and in college! I was hanging out with three smokers who were my best friends at the time, we drank a lot of beer together every weekend, and somewhere along the way on one of those nights, I thought it would be a good idea to light a cigarette. A few weeks later I thought of another great idea - buy a pack of my own! Yeah. Good stuff.
I'm looking to Sister as my inspiration. She stopped smoking the day after my wedding, so that means she hasn't smoked in almost ten years. Her motivation was falling in love with Travis, who is totally anti-smoking. She said she used the gum for about a week and a half and other than that used Tootsie Pops, which I'll be buying today. I'm so amazed and proud of her that she was so successful with it. Especially right now, when I feel as though I am losing my mind a little.
I keep thinking about an article I read a few years ago in Rolling Stone where Steven Tyler said it was harder to quit smoking cigarettes than it was to quit doing heroin. I'm in total belief that statement is true.
Help me, Obi Wan; you're my only hope.