First you have to try to imagine the sound of my Jewy aunt's astounding Brooklyn accent: picture a cross between Fran Drescher, the sound your teeth would make if you scraped them along a sidewalk, and a dentist drill. With lots of cuss words. The first time Brian heard her speak he actually got startled, and he's not one to scare easily. If I ever want to induce an anxiety attack, all I have to do is picture introducing her to Brian's mother. The two of them would need an interpreter.
So she calls me today to give me an update on my uncle's current health situation, (In brief: Not Good) but as always the conversation quickly turned to the subject of her. Apparently her job isn't going so well right now (she's the bookkeeper for a fairly large landscape company) and in her words, she "Seriously fucked up. Twice." However, she is trying to look on the bright side, which for her means she feels bad but lucky her recent mistake has now been overshadowed. It seems that yesterday one of their employees was struck and killed by a Budweiser truck while driving a lawn mower.
Don't believe me?
And you know, most untimely deaths are tragic, they really are. But damn. For this lady's family to have to tell people how she died? That is just adding insult to injury right there. Lawn mower injury. And it's not like my aunt was giddy for this poor woman's misfortune you understand, she was just really grateful for the timing of it.
After I got off the phone with her I immediately called Brian and told him to warn the guys on his crew to look out for stray beer trucks, because good Lord; you just never know.
On a serious note (well, technically that was serious too, but come on), my uncle has been diagnosed with cancer - they found it on one of his kidneys a few weeks ago and more recently on his bladder. He's having surgery in late July so I'm definitely going to try to make it to Florida before then. This, coming right on the heels of Brian's brother being diagnosed with prostate cancer? That disease can eat a bag of dicks as far as I'm concerned; I hate it. Someone needs to go ahead and find the cure already; I mean, how many more 5k's do we have to walk/run before this happens? God? Because I don't know anyone, ANYONE, who hasn't been directly or indirectly affected by the piece of shit.
Okay, enough cheerfulness from me for one day. We are so busy with outside-of-work work, that we're fighting complete exhaustion every day. But, with extra work comes extra money, so there might even soon come a day when that asshole we call a truck is actually completely fixed and running like a champ. Imagine that. I barely can.
On the exercise front, I'm sucking, but I am managing to get on the stepper three to four times a week, which I suppose is better than nothing. What is completely retarded is that I have access to not one, but two gyms here on campus, gyms I could use FOR FREE. What's stopping me, you ask? Besides being a lazy whore? Well, it's stupid. Imagine you're me; kinda pale, at the high end of my weight and old. Now imagine walking into a university's gym, one that is full of tan, twiggy college girls. I mean, would they even allow someone like me to enter much less use the same machines and weights? I don't know, but I'm completely horrified by the idea. Probably should try and work on that.