Sunday, July 20, 2008

As the sun was going down last night, Brian asked if I felt like doing some yard work. Since early morning and dusk are pretty much the only times of day I enjoy being outside in July and August, I agreed. We got a lot done too - watering the plants which haven't been drenched by rain, repotting some of the offspring from the gigantic rubber tree, shoveling the metric ton of decorative stones he brought home a few weeks ago, raking the Magnolia leaves which have been around since they fell off the trees in November, putting new mulch down and trimming the crepe myrtle I've named Tim Burton because it has yet to sprout anything and looks like it belongs in one of his movies. By the time we were done with everything it was fully dark and we were both drenched in sweat and the sprinkler. I felt extremely accomplished then realized something. This is what we do for fun? No one is paying us to do this; none of it is really necessary, yet we just spent a couple of hours working around the house for nothing more than to improve its appearance. Damn are we getting old.
More proof that supports this theory: How we're celebrating Brian's birthday Saturday. He's turning 37 (For you Kevin Smithies: Dante: "My girlfriend gave 37 blow jobs! Customer: In a row?").

The first birthday I spent with him he was turning 25. The comparisons of what we did for that birthday and what we're doing for this one are staggering. Let's take a look, shall we?

Then: Friends traveled hundreds of miles from Georgia and from Florida to come party with us for the birthday weekend extravaganza.
Now: No one is coming to party with us, at least not that I'm aware of. Who can afford the gas?

Then: We hit numerous bars in Five Points and various mind-altering substances may or may not have been involved. Later, we snuck over to our apartment complex's pool, hopped the fence and swam at 4:00 in the morning.
Now: We're going to see Glenn Beck speak at the Township auditorium at 7p.m. I'm pretty sure the only mind-altering substance involved will be caffene. I'm also sure the only place we'll be swimming at 4 a.m. will be in our dreams.

Then: I baked him a yellow cake with chocolate frosting, his favorite. I used vegetable oil per the directions on the cake mix box.
Now: I'll bake him a yellow cake with chocolate frosting, still his favorite, but will use Duncan Hines Butter Recipe mix and make the frosting from scratch. His mother has taught me the error of my ways.

Then: Birthday Blow job.
Now: Well, I guess some things never change.

Ah, well. Aging is just one of those unavoidable things, you know? No sense in getting upset about it. We still have our health and our looks are tenuously holding on so far, so really things are fine. Our hobbies may have changed over the years, but we're still the same fun-loving fools we always were. Now get off my lawn, you whippersnappers! You hoodlums make too much noise and now I'm going to call the police! Back in my day...oh, nevermind.

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