Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Fun trip down memory lane

I was going about my work day, minding my own business, when I started feeling icky. Like it was 39 degrees outside and I got so hot, I started peeling layers off. Then I got cold. Then I had a bathroom experience. Then I went home. I'm hoping I slept whatever it was off, but my belly still feels flippy. Like, I'm hungry but the thought of food is making me feel green. The hell.

So I posed a question yesterday and a lot of people weighed in. The issue of someone blatantly flirting with your person. Don't ask me what made me think of it; it's not an issue that's happened anytime recently, unless you count the gold-toothed, 300lb lady at the store where we buy beer, candy and ciggies - she flatout told me she's stealing my hot husband. I told her go for it. For some reason he didn't find it as amusing as I did.

But I have had this happen before. I guess I shouldn't be so surprised by it; there are many types of women in the world and not all of them have the same boundaries I have. It still surprises me when someone shows any kind of rudeness or lack of respect. Brian's pretty cute, and I like that about him. He's also really quiet, which means women have always been pretty aggressive with him when they want to get their point across. I've seen a few of these special girls during our time together, but one stands out above all the rest.

Back about six years ago, after we went through the Dark Time, we were on the shaky road to recovery. It had been an emotionally battering year and I wasn't what you'd call filled with self-confidence. Not that I ever am, but I'd put this period of time as the lowest of the low.

Enter Meredith.

Meredith was part of a group of people we were hanging out with at the time in Tampa. She was very pretty (duh!), very outgoing and was in possession of two things I will never have - blond hair and the perfect ass. She was also very sexually adventerous, and more than willing to share her adventures with anyone who'd listen. She'd sort of stolen her best friend's boyfriend and was devoting a lot of time flaunting it to the other girl whenever possible. They had the same circle of friends, so this happened quite often and we were lucky enough to be around for a lot of it. Not by my choice, I assure you.

One night we were at this dude's house for a party. I was happy to note Meredith wasn't around, but of course that didn't last long - she showed up and made her grand entrance, talking a mile a minute and wiping her nose often. Cokey. After performing an impromtu dance for the crowd (She ruined Nelly's Hot in Herre for me and for this, I'll always hate her extra), she sat down on the couch BETWEEN Brian and myself and threw her arm around him. The look he gave me was one of sheer panic. She said to him and I quote, "So, how was work today, yo?" - okay.

Please don't take me for a total freak. I have no problem whatsoever with a female friend asking Brian how his work day went. In fact, I'd venture to say I wouldn't have a problem with most people in the world asking him that. It wasn't so much the question as much as who was asking it, HOW it was asked and the fact that she was pretty much sitting in his lap (and mine, forfucksake) when she asked.

Over the years, I've replayed that little event every so often. Most of the time when I'm having a bout of insomnia and my mind drags up every unpleasant thing that's ever happened to me. Those are the best nights of all. This happened the other night and I amused myself with the many, many different ways I could've handled it that would've been so much more satisfactory than how I did handle it. Which was sit there in shock doing nothing. I am so cool.

There were several other instances that don't bear repeating, especially since Meredith was a very temporary person in our lives, thank God. Now the only time she ever comes up is when I'm feeling particularly psycho and look at him and just say "Meredith" out of the blue. And he shakes his head and doesn't say anything. Which is really the best way to handle me when I get like that.

I'm not sure what (or whom) Meredith is doing now, but I have several scenarios I like to imagine. Some of them involve dark alleys, others are more along the lines of red, angry sores. Oh, Meredith - I hope you're living the life you deserve to live.

This post was brought to you by the makers of PMS.


Kristin D said...

Dude, I was stalking you so we could skype tonight. Sorry you weren't feeling good. I knew a girl like Meredith. And she was my roommate. And then some. Remember her? She did more than FLIRT with my boyfriends. I love women like that.

iamheatherjo said...

I would have had a problem with her the moment she touched ME. Hahaha!!

I would have expected my boy to take care of her touching him and if he didn't...I'd have been mad at him.

It's hard for me to get mad at the stupid girls who pull shit like that IF THEY DON'T KNOW ME, but this dumbass knew you!! Sheesh.

buoy said...

ha ha. drugs make people so cool...

if this makes you feel any better, when my bf and i started dating, it was right as he quit touring/broke up with his last band. (which was really successful with the slutty-17-year-old-warped-tour-crowd.) try dealing with the normal psychos that stalk hot band boys AND the internet rumors/blatant lies that get barfed up all over stupid band-whore-y websites. there was even one nut case who started a myspace in HIS name, using pictures of him from magazines/etc., and wrote the most disgusting comments back and forth/to and from this made-up version of him, about their "relationship."

i had my doubts that he was being totally truthful at first, but when "he" left her detailed comments about the "wonderful christmas" they spent together in canada (when he was actually with me in az...) i had to start laughing about it.

it's not easy to deal with, but it's just one of those things we sane women have to learn how to gracefully handle, unless we want to run the risk of looking just as crazy as the offender.

(and yes, drunken mockery is "gracefully handling it" in my book.)

wow. longest. comment. ever.

Psuedokim said...

Sister - ew. I usually forget about that.

Heather - He reacted correctly; I think both of us were in shock. The difference is he's long forgotten it and I barfed it all back up just then. Ugh.

Buoy - I don't think I could handle dating a boy in a band - I give you a lot of credit!

suzy2110 said...

Hey Kim! Suzy here- just managed to find your blog! :)

Sorry you aren't feeling too well.

I think all of us have a Meredith in our past- in my case I have a Sharon. Just thinking about her makes me want to start screaming, the stupid bitch. At least your husband dealt with it the right way! Men can be SO stupid sometimes- I occasionally have to point out to mine that someone is hitting on him (well, DUH!!!)because he can't spot it himeself.

Psuedokim said...

Hi Suzy! I saw your pretty picture on MTAE's blog - you r pretty!