Thursday, November 6, 2008

Good news ladies - no cooking dinner tonight!

Imagine my surprise and delight when I found this today. As soon as I did I called Brian and the following was our conversation:
Me: Guess what! Today is National Men Make Dinner Day!
Him: Ha-ha.
Me: No, really! I just saw it on the internet.
Him: Sure. If you want me to cook dinner, all you had to do was ask.
Me: Well, I DO want you to cook dinner, but it's because of this holiday.
Him: (Telling his co-worker about the holiday and laughter ensues) I'll cook dinner. But NOT because of some stupid, made-up holiday.
Me: Fine. I still win.
Him: What do you want me to cook?
Me: That's up to you. I always have to make the decision about what we're having for dinner and that's the hardest part of cooking. Tonight is all you.
Him: Okay.
Me: But this morning I took out steak to defrost, so that's what I want.
Him: I knew I wouldn't have to make the decision.
Me: Whatever. I STILL win.

Don't get me wrong. Brian is really good cook and there are many times he makes dinner anyway. The cooking gene runs strong in his family on both sides and most of the time he cooks from instinct, following no recipe or directions. Over the years he's come a long way from his bachelor days of making fried flour (I swear to you; if you don't believe me ask him) and fried foods in general, and has expanded to roasts, sea food and many other delightful suprises. It has really only ended in catastrophe a couple of times, but I will say when he fucks up he does it in a spectacular way.

One time in particular he blames me for to this very day. Apparently I had the powdered sugar stored too closely to the flour and he mistakenly used the sugar to batter an entire mess of catfish he and his friend had spent hours that day catching out in the broiling sun. Sugar coated catfish is pretty much as disgusting as it sounds (I wish you could've seen our faces as we excitedly took our first bites), so that one goes down in the history books as a big fat Fail. I'd like to tell you that was the only Sugar vs. Flour incident, but sadly it happened again not long after that with some fried chicken he made. Not a violent person by nature, he reacted by tossing the sugar out the front door. At that point I decided it would be safer to remove the sugar from its cannister and hide it in the far reaches of the pantry.

Another time he decided to make blackened fish. Not realizing the term "blackened" is an actual blend of spices, he used nothing but black pepper. Before the fish was done cooking, the air in our kitchen was so acrid and toxic, we could barely see from our eyes watering so much. After I found out what he'd done, once I finished laughing, I bravely agreed to take a bite. I think the feeling finally returned to my mouth a few hours later.All kidding aside, he's a great cook and I'm going to stop teasing him now because I don't want him to happen to read this before dinner and then not cook for me. I normally don't like arbitrary, made-believe holidays, but I think this is one I can enthusiastically support. Join the fun and make your man make your dinner tonight too!


Anonymous said...

Well, this holiday is lost on me! However, I didn't make dinner and neither did my best friend. I picked up dinner for us on the way home. ;)

I would have thrown the sugar out the front door as well. I'm still giggling about that.

Angelique said...

Hehe...I love the cooking disasters and yes, I too would probably have resorted to turfing the stuff out the door.
I'll have to note the calendar for next year!

Whiskeymarie said...

I'm lying to my husband and telling him that this holiday is tomorrow, as I already made something for tonight.

I have a friend whose husband has made such wonders as a dorito and sour cream sandwich, and I still tell people about his "meatball salad".
But fried flour wins- hands down.