Monday, December 15, 2008

Yet Another Crisis Averted

I guess it was time.

It's been a good while since either one of us has had a run-in with the law serious enough that jail could be involved, so I guess we were due. This time it was Brian's turn. And here's the thing. If he would only listen to his mother and wear his seatbelt, this could've all been avoided. But of course he doesn't and he wasn't.

So, he's driving on a rural back road, somewhere between his mom's house and where he's working when a car coming the opposite way flashes its lights at him in warning. He heeds the warning and slows down. Smart. He sees the cop, a highway patrolman, pull out after him anyway and turn his lights on. Screwed. Then he remembers he left his wallet at his mom's house. Double-screwed. He and the cop talk and he gives the guy his registration and the guy takes it back to the patrol car to check it out. A few minutes pass; he walks back up to Brian and says the words every motorist dreads:

"Sir, step out of the vehicle please."

Now, I've had this happen to me before, (except I was called ma'am instead of sir) so I can say with complete expertise this is the point your stomach feels as though it may fall out of your asshole. Brian agreed this is a pretty accurate description of how he was feeling.

Apparently, the same problem is still haunting us that we thought was cleared up months ago, where the South Carolina DMV for some reason still thinks we lived where we did in 1998 and never moved to Florida for nine years. Was it all a dream? At times it feels like it, but apparently to the computers here, no matter how much proof and money we give them otherwise, they continue to think this is the case. Brian had nothing else to prove he was him except for a pay stub with his social on it and luckily the cop accepted it. He told him he could, if he wanted to, take him to jail right then for not having his license or any ID on him. Nice to know. Instead he let him off with a $25 seatbelt ticket and a warning to show proof of a South Carolina driver's license by the court date, which is in a month, or pay another $237. Brian told him he wouldn't have to worry about that, thanked him and called him sir.

At this point I could go on and on about how ridiculous this state is with their archaic computer record keeping, their ridiculous taxes and laws when it comes to driving and owning a car, the fact that we saw a sign the other day at a convenient store that threatened if caught loitering you could be in for a $1,087.00 fine and PRISON (And what kind of arbitrary amount is that? An even thousand isn't enough? $1100.00 too much? I don't understand)...but really I'm just thankful this particular officer of the law happened to be in a decent mood today and that Brian wasn't speeding or changing a cd or talking on his phone or whatever. I'd be in a much different mood right now had he been calling me from jail.

The only unfortunate thing that happened during all this is that while he was pulled over, the town's mail person happened to drive by. No biggie, but she also happens to be the mother of Brian's best friend Chris and neighbor of Brian's parents. I'm not sure how much of a gossip she is, but I warned him he better tell his mom before she hears it from somebody at the post office/church/IGA. She wouldn't be pleased. Especially since she tells him to wear his seat belt EVERY TIME she sees him get into his truck.

Holy balls. I was already having a fairly stressful day before this happened. Now I'm to the point of laughing. At everything. I don't know how many Get Out of Jail Free cards each person is allowed in a lifetime, but we've got to be reaching our limit. We've GOT to be.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Those "step out of the vehicle words" are some I am trying to spend my life avoiding.

I am also trying to avoid, "Hey! Naked Guy! What are you doing on that roof and is that a rifle?"

(You can also insert your own viennna sausage joke here.)

Anonymous said...

I got an error trying to respond and what I wrote went *poof* into the void.

Grr...

Anonymous said...

Man, that's a suck feeling, to be asked to get out of the car. Happened to Calvin when we went up north... uh, we had bigger cause to be worried. Heh.

Anonymous said...

I sped past two or three officers on my way from Phoenix to Vegas once before I finally got pulled over. The officer asked if I had seen any of his friends on the way and I asked "Why? Were you expecting me?"

I got a wink and a verbal warning.

And people said that being a smartass would get me in trouble.

Kim said...

MTAE, HA!!

Snerk, Brian would usually have more cause to be worried too. Lucky.

Heather, not surprised you got a wink and a warning!