Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Denied no longer!


The last time I was this fascinated with a product that was sold As Seen on TV, was the Magic Bullet. Sister got one, Grace got one and I wanted one. Brian said okay, but why. I thought about it for a minute and said, "To make milkshakes!" He said, "Go buy some ice cream; I'll make you the best milkshake you've ever had without a stupid Magic Bullet," and then laughed condescendingly. Which really pissed me off and made me not want to like the milkshake he made. But I couldn't deny its perfection. It was lovely - Breyer's Chocolate & Strawberry, thick, eaten with a spoon. And I forgot about the Magic Bullet.

This? I don't think I can forget about as easily and I doubt Brian can whip up a homemade version of it. Unless he has some hidden mad sewing skills I'm not aware of. Possible, but not likely.

I'm obsessed. I've seen the commercial for a few weeks now and every time I'm like, "Oh my God, it's THE SNUGGIE! I NEED ONE! RIGHT NOW!!!" He just shakes his head. He's really mean sometimes. Then to make things worse, one of my heroes and Myspace "friends", Diablo Cody, author of Candy Girl and writer of Juno and the soon-to-be released Jennifer's Body and Showtime series United States of Tara (which reminds me, note to self: add Showtime to cable package) blogs that she not only HAS the Snuggie, she can't picture how she ever managed to live BEFORE the Snuggie. She provided photographic evidence:


More proof of why it sucks for me not to be her. I mean okay, I want to be Tina Fey too, but does SHE own a Snuggie? I doubt it.

To top it all off, yesterday I got an email. From Snuggie! Which is obviously the final sign I needed. Brian thinks it's some evil internet marketing tool that guessed how much I want one, but how could that be? This is the first time I've ever spoken of it to anyone but him. There is nothing sinister about this. It's a blanket. With sleeves. If that isn't the perfect, best, most awesome thing ever in the whole wide world, I don't know what is. I've already pictured myself in front of the fireplace and reading while wrapped in a Snuggie of my very own. I don't think I have a choice at this point.

In these trying economic times, you're supposed to take comfort in the little things.

You're also supposed to not spend money on stupid shit you don't need. But I'm ignoring that part.


Anonymous said...

I think the closest thing I've ever had to that thing was a comforter that had snaps that made sleeve thingies and a zipper up the front. I had a Star Wars one. It was cozy.

Sorry, but I thought the 'Magic Bullet' was something else entirely... ;)

ct said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ct said...

Ugh, my husband wants one of these so bad! I don't get it...why not wear a robe or have a huge blanket or...I don't know, wear clothes?

I know I'm raining on your parade, sorry to be an ass, but I can't wrap my head around this one. I just don't get what is so great about it.

Side note, I deleted my previous comment and vow to proofread before I post comments.;)

Anonymous said...

That looks great! Surely it can't be THAT expensive, if I were you I'd give myself a "Happy January" treat. It is the suicide month after all, and Snuggies are exactly what's needed to shake off those winter blues- right?!! :D

Like Heather, I was sure a Magic Bullet was not something designed to create the perfect milkshake. Unless you mean Milkshake in the Kelis sense... :D

Kim said...

Yes, we made many jokes about the Magic Bullet and I regret not including them in the post. I'm sure had it been the something else, he would've bought it for me. I'd be scared to see what he came up with otherwise.

CT - It's just more fun than a robe or a blanket!
But now I think I need to add something else to the list - the Slap Chop.
I need to stop watching commercials.

Suzy - You just gave me the perfect justification. I'm doing it!

skiplovey said...

OMG snuggie! I'm totally obsessed with it too but also, a little scared. Don't the people wearing in the commercial look like they're from a cult or something. It's a little freaky. But snuggie too.

Swistle said...

Oh, I totally think you need one. But what color, what COLOR??? This is a HUGE decision.

Swistle said...

OMG, did you notice it's buy one get one for $7.95 shipping??

Also, I think the green is the best bet. Unless you don't like green. In which case I'd go with the red, because the blue has a Superman look to it.

Swistle said...

I mean, it's Superman-type blue. I know his cape is red. But, like, the BLUE part of his suit is that color. Of blue.

Kim said...

I DID NOT notice the shipping deal!
Oh God, I feel faint.
I think I'm getting a green one. And yes it does look cultish. I might start my own Snuggie Sect of the South.

crisitunity said...

I have one of these, but I have the real one - the one that the Snuggie people ripped off - the Slanket. I paid a lot more for it than you'll pay for your Snuggie. I am here to say, it's THE BEST THING EVER. Not only is it stupid warm, but it's just like the commercial shows - you can read, and knit, and use the remote control, all while your arms are toasty warm.

I also have a Magic Bullet, which was a gift, and it's a piece of shit for everything except grinding spices.

Kim said...

I didn't think there could ever be anything greater than the Snuggie until now. The Slanket??? Yes; I'm glad I haven't ordered the Snuggie yet.
I had a strange feeling the Magic Bullet sucked and that no one was telling me the truth about it.

eljay said...

Every time I see that on TV I laugh and wonder how people can buy that. But then again, every two minutes on every kids channel they are advertising "bendaroos" and every time it comes on Nick calls me into the room. "MOM, I WANT BENDAROOS!" and the other day he asked me "Mom, what is advertising". He also asked "How does a remote control work if there is no wire connecting it to the TV". (The mind of a four year old!)