Wednesday, January 21, 2009

When the naked guy on the roof asks you questions, you answer

Morethananelectrician did a post the other day where he was interviewed by another blogger than offered his services as interviewee to anyone who was interested; who was I to turn down a request like that? I thought his questions were both well-rounded and fun, so without further ado:

1. If George Bush and Tim Tebow were standing in front of you and you were forced to strike one of them in the knee with a blunt heavy weapon...which one would you choose and why? Or would you not be FORCED to hit Tebow?

VERY tricky (and timely!), Mr. MTAE!
If you'd asked me this question at different times over the past couple of years, I may have answered differently, as I am both conservative and a Florida Gator hater. However, I learned a lot about Mr. Tebow over the last year and found him to be an amazing young man who will has done and will do great things in his life that have nothing to do with football. He's using his celebrity status to help charities, go on missionary trips and help kids. He's a Christian guy who when he thanks God during interviews you can tell it's not arbitrary and that he really means it. He'll only play for the Gators one more year, so I'll only be forced to wish them well for a short amount of time and then it will be a different team on the NFL. So I guess my short answer would have to be George Bush. And that would be a lot easier now that I wouldn't have to scale the White House walls to do it.

2. Do you have personal "book giving away policy"? (I only give a book to someone I know will appreciate it like I did....not leave it on the floor of their truck.)

I have more of a book lending policy than giving away, since I don't generally give away my books. If I buy a person a book as a gift, what they do with it is their choice. If I lend them one of my books, it has to be a fellow book-lover and someone I know will treat it with the same care I would. I've been burned before, by some very good friends no less, where I've gotten the book back with the covers and pages bent and that made me very, very angry.

3. What do you put on a hamburger? (Lettuce, ketchup, cheese, etc...)
Weirdly, I only usually put ketchup on my hamburgers. And let me tell you, that's a very challenging order at most McDonald's, who for some reason can't comprehend when I say VERY CLEARLY, "Let me get a Quarter-Pounder, no cheese, ketchup only." Eight times out of ten they ignore the no cheese part. And then I have to scrape it off with a fry. It has been the bane of my fast-food existence.

4. Have you ever punched someone in the mouth...with the intent to cause real pain? If so, how long ago was it?

Wow, this one's going to make me look real bad. Yes. Only one person and it was my husband. Let me explain! This was during the Dark Time in our marriage eight years ago, when we spent almost a year separated. We'd see each other every so often though, as we were sharing custody of our dog. We usually conviened at a good friend's house where we would deal with stuff like the dog or bills or sometimes just to see each other and talk, since we also missed each other during the separation (VERY long story). This particular time we were both there and one of our very good friends had just passed away. I tried to get Brian the funeral information so he could attend since I knew he'd want to go. However, getting the information to him was extremely difficult because he was staying with another woman who didn't have a phone in her house (klassy) and he didn't have a cell at the time. I passed the date and time along through mutual friends of ours and assumed he'd get the message. He didn't get the info in time though and missed the funeral. The night of the punch, he accused me of not telling him, and got mad at me. I finally understood the saying "seeing red," and I completely reacted spontaneously, by giving him a solid uppercut to the jaw (I'm much shorter than he is). I connected too, and it was both horribly upsetting and supremely satisfying. He was shocked, but I guess knew he deserved it though and to this day he laughs at me and says I barely grazed him and it didn't hurt at all. But I know it did.

5. Name one popular singer or band, that, if you hear on the radio, you HAVE TO get up and either change the channel or turn of the radio.

Oh dear God, there are so many. I guess if I had to pick just one right now it would be that Taylor Swift chick. She's cute, but her voice makes my ears bleed. On the flip side, when I hear that Single Ladies song by Beyonce, I turn that shit way up! *Hangs head in shame* Yeah Heather, go ahead and mock - I can take it!

So, that was fun! I'll go ahead and keep it going if anyone's interested and I'll play Katie Couric to your Sarah Palin (without the rudeness). Let me know if you want to be interviewed in the comments and post your five questions and answers on your blog.


Anonymous said...

Very nicely done...

I wanted to insert Steve Spurrier in there somewhere, but I didn't know you'd gone soft on Tebow. Next football season he'll be on your hit list again.

Kim said...

Oh, the mixed feelings I have on Spurrier. When he was named coach for the university I both love and work for, I know my dad up in heaven was laughing his ass off at me. The irony of it all.

Heather said...

I have absolutely no use for a house phone! I'm klassy too. ;)

I already told Laura she could interview me so I just popped in to be a smart-ass. You know, like usual. Hee!

Kim said...

I don't have a house phone either.

But do you have three kids from three different dads? Didn't think so! ;)

Anonymous said...

You didn't mention THAT part, you just said she didn't have a house phone. BAAHAHAHA!!!

We're thinking that's the kinda gal that Lea's soon-to-be ex will end up with next.

skiplovey said...

I am oddly addicted to the Beyonce song as well.

Kim said...

Heather - trust me, I didn't mention A LOT of things about that sitch. That's more of a long email exchange between you and I on a slow day type deal. If Lea's ex ends up with someone like her, I feel sorry for him!

Skip - That song makes me so damn happy, it's scary!