Yesterday when I arrived home, there on the front porch was a Very Important package. The contents:
Do you see all that stuff?? All that was there, plus a little red Hazmat container with which to dispose of the used needles. Brian loved the container though and wants to keep it for himself; I'll save that argument for this weekend when the time comes to use it. I did used to know a junkie who got rid of all his used needles in laundry detergent bottles, so that's one idea.
In the meantime I put all the stuff in the refrigerator as directed, where it will wait until Follistim Friday, the first night Brian shoots me up. We'll do it all again Saturday night and hopefully that'll be the end of that. It's not that I'm too nervous about my husband sticking me with a needle, but I do get a little cringy in the head if I think about it too hard. They recommend pinching fat on your stomach and sticking it there since there are supposedly less nerve endings there. We'll see about that.
While I waited for him to get home, I went online and found a ton of forums and blogs with regard to people who have used this medicine. Of course there were a lot of success stories and then of course some that broke my heart. People on their sixth or seventh attempt at treatment, not wanting to keep getting disappointed and spending all the money, but not being able to help themselves. Ack, it was gut-wrenching to read. So many people who feel what I've felt all these years. I probably shouldn't be reading ANY of that stuff, but of course I couldn't help myself. I was glad when he walked in so I had a reason to stop the madness and lie down for a little while to enjoy my fever, chills and various aches.
I don't know if God smote me with this cold/flu/whatever-the-hell in order to help with the not smoking or what, but if so it's working amazingly well. Had I still been smoking but feeling like this, I wouldn't be able to smoke anyway, what with all the not being able to really breathe right now. So I'm trying not to complain too much; in fact I'm doing the opposite and hoping the sickness will stay with me for a few weeks, making the whole initial nicotine withdrawal that much easier. That would be awesome.
The writing of this was literally just interrupted a few minutes ago by a co-worker who came to tell me she's pregnant. I can't make this stuff up! She's letting some work people know this week, but of course she's known for a few weeks. The weird part is both she and her husband have different health issues that affect fertility and one doctor told her that her chances, at least for a few years, were basically slim to none, like .0001%. She said she believes it was nothing less than God picking them out and telling them it's their turn. And yes, she was plainly GLOWING talking about it - she's a very pretty girl anyway, but she looked absolutely beautiful just now. What's really weird? For the first time in a very long time my reaction when hearing that news wasn't mixed. There was no negativity at all, none of that usual feeling sorry for myself shit. I am truly happy for her - she's one of those women you know was born to be a momma. And I'm choosing to take this as a sign that in a couple of weeks I'll get to walk upstairs to her office and tell her the exact same thing.