Sunday, March 15, 2009

Hitting the home stretch

I made the mistake of paying all the bills that were due, so we were poor this weekend. I hate when that happens. The weather was crappy too, so I figured a good plan would be to make a library run and for once I made him come with me instead of going alone with a list for him that says "WW II, Russian History, Lewis & Clark." I hate picking out books for him. And just like I thought, he picked out six great books for himself and would've probably gotten a few more had I not explained to him the library will probably be here for awhile and he can always come back for more when he's done with these. He was excited with his finds and then glanced at what I had picked out.

Five books about pregnancy. Oh yeah, you know it. And here's why. I know it might be a little premature; we won't know if I'm offering anyone womb service until Thursday. I know I don't have any right getting too excited until it's officially confirmed. But you know what? It's pretty much All Pregnant, All the Time in my head right now and when I'm obsessing about something, especially for the first time, the first thing I do is find books about it. I've done it with cooking. I've done it with decorating. I've done it with writing. Books. I'm all about the books, so I'm not sure why he was so surprised. He said something like, Don't you pretty much have all the information you need by now? You silly, silly man! You really are new here, aren't you. I just looked at him like he was retarded for a minute while he reassessed what he'd just said and then came to his senses. Riiiight. It's me we're talking about, remember? I want to hear everyone's story, yes. I will read things online until my eyes bleed. But - books! Duh!

I wanted a good variety but also wanted just light reading, so this one immediately caught my eye and I loved the title: Skinny Bitch Bun in the Oven-it sounded right up my alley. Oh my God. Do not EVER read this book. I of course dove into it first, right after we got home. Not knowing it was written by two freaks of nature who must be vegetarians, vegans or just plain psychotic. I mean, I understand that a lot of sugar is bad for you, but their chapter titled "Sugar is Satan," pretty much says you are a selfish weak asshole loser who will give your baby diabetes 4-LIFE if you are stupid enough to eat anything sweet besides fruit ever again. I was horrified to learn aspartime was denied eight times when it was first brought before the FDA - could've gone my whole life without knowing that, thank you but very glad I stopped the Diet Coke a few months back, and...Jesus. It was the ridiculous fear mongoring extremism shit I normally wouldn't even take a second look at, but was fooled by the cute picture and clever marketing.

I was up to the chapter on how we shouldn't ever drink milk of any kind unless it's soy and even then not really, when I handed it over to him and asked him to take a look while I went to go throw away everything in the refrigerator and pantry. He flipped through it and showed me other stuff that confirmed I was reading a bunch of bullshit. It's already back in my car, ready to be dropped back off tomorrow. Thank GOD I didn't buy this piece of crap. What to Expect was such a nice, pleasant thing to read after that.

In fact, I think it was lucky we were having a financially tight weekend; otherwise we may have ended up at Barnes & Noble (which is only another mile further than the library which is only a mile from our house) and who knows WHAT kind of money we may have wasted on unnecessary stuff. I know it hurts him to have to return a great book; it hurts me too. But that's when I make a note of the book, put it on my various want and wishlists and patiently wait for it. Hopefully I'll still be wanting to read these books at the end of this week, or should I say hopefully I'll still have a use for them, but if not, I didn't waste any money in the meantime.

13 comments:

iamheatherjo said...

The Skinny Bitches have quite a few books. I remember looking at them in the bookstore and not getting past the jackets on them. I knew they weren't the bitches that were going to help me eat better/lose weight. Too extreme. I don't have that kind of dedication, I'll admit. I wish I did. But it's just...weird.

And, yes, you can add those books to your Amazon Wishlist (I know, Laura, I'll update mine soon!) so we can use it as a guide for birthdays and Flag Day and whatnot. :D

morethananelectrician said...

Instincts are amazing. Pregnancy and Child birth opinions are something and ALMOST rival childraising opinions.

You can read two books that say exactly the opposite thing and they all make sense. Lock your self in a closet and use those instincts.

Kim said...

Heather - I'd heard of them before too; remembered some kind of controversary when the first book came out. Now I understand why.

MTAE - I'm finding that out slowly but surely.

Swistle said...

Oh, man, I think I must have read EVERY SINGLE pregnancy book in our library and bookstore before I was pregnant. I was SO INTERESTED.

Kim said...

Swistle - Seriously! I've never let myself read them before; this is like a whole new world opening up to me! And it's really fascinating stuff. The human body is a strange and wonderful thing, kind of like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

crisitunity said...

WOMB SERVICE! BWAH hahahahahaha

Kim said...

Cris - I made myself laugh over that one too.

Taoist Biker said...

I cracked up on "womb service" too, heh.

I hereby recommend "The Expectant Father" for Brian.

Kim said...

TB - Oooh, another book! I'll get my library to get it for me RIGHT NOW!

LL Cool Joe said...

Geez I wish I had your love of books! I don't even know where our library is!

I know where all the record shops are though. Ok this makes me an uncultured moron, right?

Kim said...

Joe - No, it just makes me a nerd. Music = cool, books = uncool.

Heather said...

When my friend Sue was pregnant with her twins I got her a shirt with two little cartoon fetuses on it that said "We're Womb-Mates". Heehee...

Kim said...

Heather - Once I thought of the room/womb thing I knew I would not be able to let it go for awhile.