I made the mistake of paying all the bills that were due, so we were poor this weekend. I hate when that happens. The weather was crappy too, so I figured a good plan would be to make a library run and for once I made him come with me instead of going alone with a list for him that says "WW II, Russian History, Lewis & Clark." I hate picking out books for him. And just like I thought, he picked out six great books for himself and would've probably gotten a few more had I not explained to him the library will probably be here for awhile and he can always come back for more when he's done with these. He was excited with his finds and then glanced at what I had picked out.
Five books about pregnancy. Oh yeah, you know it. And here's why. I know it might be a little premature; we won't know if I'm offering anyone womb service until Thursday. I know I don't have any right getting too excited until it's officially confirmed. But you know what? It's pretty much All Pregnant, All the Time in my head right now and when I'm obsessing about something, especially for the first time, the first thing I do is find books about it. I've done it with cooking. I've done it with decorating. I've done it with writing. Books. I'm all about the books, so I'm not sure why he was so surprised. He said something like, Don't you pretty much have all the information you need by now? You silly, silly man! You really are new here, aren't you. I just looked at him like he was retarded for a minute while he reassessed what he'd just said and then came to his senses. Riiiight. It's me we're talking about, remember? I want to hear everyone's story, yes. I will read things online until my eyes bleed. But - books! Duh!
I wanted a good variety but also wanted just light reading, so this one immediately caught my eye and I loved the title: Skinny Bitch Bun in the Oven-it sounded right up my alley. Oh my God. Do not EVER read this book. I of course dove into it first, right after we got home. Not knowing it was written by two freaks of nature who must be vegetarians, vegans or just plain psychotic. I mean, I understand that a lot of sugar is bad for you, but their chapter titled "Sugar is Satan," pretty much says you are a selfish weak asshole loser who will give your baby diabetes 4-LIFE if you are stupid enough to eat anything sweet besides fruit ever again. I was horrified to learn aspartime was denied eight times when it was first brought before the FDA - could've gone my whole life without knowing that, thank you but very glad I stopped the Diet Coke a few months back, and...Jesus. It was the ridiculous fear mongoring extremism shit I normally wouldn't even take a second look at, but was fooled by the cute picture and clever marketing.
I was up to the chapter on how we shouldn't ever drink milk of any kind unless it's soy and even then not really, when I handed it over to him and asked him to take a look while I went to go throw away everything in the refrigerator and pantry. He flipped through it and showed me other stuff that confirmed I was reading a bunch of bullshit. It's already back in my car, ready to be dropped back off tomorrow. Thank GOD I didn't buy this piece of crap. What to Expect was such a nice, pleasant thing to read after that.
In fact, I think it was lucky we were having a financially tight weekend; otherwise we may have ended up at Barnes & Noble (which is only another mile further than the library which is only a mile from our house) and who knows WHAT kind of money we may have wasted on unnecessary stuff. I know it hurts him to have to return a great book; it hurts me too. But that's when I make a note of the book, put it on my various want and wishlists and patiently wait for it. Hopefully I'll still be wanting to read these books at the end of this week, or should I say hopefully I'll still have a use for them, but if not, I didn't waste any money in the meantime.