Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Ramble on, sing my song

This is a three-day work week for me. It's not as cool as it sounds. I have two trainings at the end of this week I'm preparing for and an all-day conference I'm attending Thursday, which cuts a big ol' chunk out of my planning time. The thing I'm looking forward to the most about this "Exciting opportunity for administrative professionals" is that one of the local newscasters is hosting it and I plan to stalk her until I get her autograph and maybe even yell at her a little about why her stupid TV station cut into the season finale of Friday Night Lights. Maybe not. Looking forward to the food, too. Always with the food.

I was catching up on some celebrity gossip while I shoveled down my Lunchables today and I saw a picture of Pamela Anderson that was very scary. Girlfriend really needs to lay off the raccoon strength eyeliner and whatever she's injecting into her lips. It made me thankful to be mediocre looking so that I don't have to have a total breakdown over the fact that my whole life has been based on my looks and now my looks are starting the inevitable slide downhill. Then again, she got to sleep with Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, so what am I talking about. Screw her.

You know how the economy sucks? This state's unemployment rate is now third or fourth in the nation at 11.4% as of the other day. I work for a state college. And here's the confusing part. If they're not calling us into budget meetings to try to brainstorm how to save money, they're sending us emails telling us to request any new equipment we may want to be considered for ourselves. Because you know - the end of the fiscal year is coming no matter what and God knows we have to spend all our money or it might look like we don't need as much. I almost asked for a laptop and a flat screen TV for my office, but instead I replied I didn't think I'd be needing anything. When I told Brian he said, "Oh Hell - they're going to think you're some crazy conservative." Uhh...

Wanna here something really weird? Brian has a 24-year-old male cousin (Josh) who just finished basic training for the Air Force. This was a pretty big deal with the fam since this kid has been the epitome of only child/mama's boy his whole life. But it seemed to be going well; his mom actually let him leave the house to join the military and she survived it and then she was proud and happy to attend his graduation in Texas two months ago. The other day though, Brian's mom told me the dark rest of the side to the story. Josh put in his request to be stationed in Charleston, South Carolina and somehow they gave it to him. I was under the impression the military doesn't usually do stuff like that, but maybe they're desperate these days? Especially the Air Force?

Anyhoo, Josh is now there, which is about a hundred miles from his hometown. Every weekend his mother drives down and picks him up on Friday and then turns around and brings him back on Sunday afternoon. You know, so he can party with the parents all weekend, the strictly Baptist, old-fashioned parents. And this is what HE wants as well. A 24-year-old guy who chooses to spend the first free weekends of his entire life home with his parents??? Something is rotten in Denmark. Or in this case in Florence. Not only that, he told them he can get military discount tickets to Disney World and wanted to know if my mother-in-law wanted (she's his aunt) to go with him and his mom this summer. She politely declined - she might put her family above all others but even she doesn't want any part of that creepy mess. I asked her if she could picture Brian or his brother at that age wanting to come hang out with her and she near about laughed her fool head off. (Does it sound like I'm picking up a southern accent to you? Please stop me, anyone, for the love of all that is good and holy, STOP MEEEE!)(Must plan trip to New York immediately or else I'll start to sound like these idiots!)(But Heather called me "Key-im" in an email the other day and I just about wet my pants.)

God it takes talent to babble this much without actually having anything to say. Stay tuned for upcoming baby news, coming soon to a blog near you. No, I don't know anything yet. Yes, I'm doing just fine with the waiting this time. No, really I am.

Stop looking at me like that.


Taoist Biker said...

Sheeit. I can call you Kee-im without having to force it.

And if you think that's funny, I'll send Dys to stay with you for a week. After the third day she'll sound like she's auditioning for the role of Elly Mae. It's downright hysterical how quickly she picks up accents.

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting with you, you know! :) And I really admire you for not testing like a mad lunatic the second you're late! However, tests are expensive and it's way too easy to obsessive-compulse over it. Thinking about you loads. xxx

LL Cool Joe said...

Yes it does take talent to babble like this! And you sure have it! :D

Yeah thinking of you with the baby news. Sending good vibes your way.

Anonymous said...

Just wait...the military will change him a bit. If he doesn't change by his next duty station...he will be forced to.

He'll change soon. The military has that impact on people, although the Air Force is to the Military as Ole Miss is to the SEC. Does that make sense?

Anonymous said...

We just had that whole "use it or lose it" conversation while Calvin was here in Chicago for training. Training he had to take so they didn't lose instruction money for next year. Can you feel my eyes rolling? I take it personally because this is a company that laid me off...TWICE! Grr.


I have a website I saved of this artist who lampoons celebrities in her paintings and one was of Pam as a Medusa sort of character and the strange thing is...it wasn't too far off of the ol' girl. Poor Pam (I don't know why but I kinda like her). She's going to be like that woman who played Ellie Mae who continues to wear pigtails with ribbons in them. Pam will be 70 years old and still wearing her Baywatch swimsuit.


crisitunity said...

I feel the same way as Heather, I kinda like Pam despite myself. Maybe it's because she was such a good sport in Borat.

MTAE and I can probably make fun of the Air Force together until the end of time. On the transfer thing, it depends. Sometimes you can prioritize a list of choices of where to go that the military gives you, and maybe Charleston was first on his list. In any case, the dude is crazed to want to spend that much time with his parents at age 24, and his parents are crazed if they don't see that it's unhealthy.

Baby baby baby baby baby! Baby baby! Baby!

There. I've done all I could.

Anonymous said...

:: looking at you like that ::

"Kee-yim" - BWA!

Uhhhh, yeah. Time to cut the apron strings, much? I mean, we loved it when Michael used to come home on the weekend from California when he was stationed there, but it wasn't EVERY weekend. Plus, well, we're cool. Just hang out with us and find out!

(Today's word verification is "mugman". A dark brown hero's costume with a mug insignia and the ability to zap the afternoon sleepies away with concentrated caffiene!)

Kim said...

MTAE - Your ratio made PERFECT sense! While I admire anyone in the military, out of all the branches, he picked the wimpiest. I'm sure that wasn't an accident.

The strange thing is I like Pam too, despite she's known two of my favorite men in the biblical sense!

I thought I'd posted comments to the first comments and now I don't see it. Weird.