Sunday, May 10, 2009

And I miss her like hell too

We all know by now how I feel about becoming a mother. Not only for the past six months of actively trying (like a bitch), but really it's been a big thing for me for the better part of the last decade. I know some women who don't have the desire and I fully respect that choice. They've made a decision that's the best for them and I'm happy for them, just as I am for the ones who wanted and became mothers. For me however, I konw it would be the most rewarding and amazing thing I could ever experience. So, you know - no pressure or anything.

But. I can say I've been lucky enough to have a God-daughter (unofficial; sometimes she calls me her other mom, sometimes her aunt) in my life for the past thirteen (almost fourteen!) years and it's a relationship that has added so much to my life, it's indescribable.

Her name is Elizabeth (a.k.a. Lizard) and this is an email she wrote me a few months ago:
Kimmy you are like my second mother, you have been there for me through everything in life, well maybe not everything but pretty darn close. And i know you didn't get to come school shopping this year but in the dressing room while i was dancing in my underwear and a babydoll shirt i thought of you and how you always sat in the dressing room and every year told me how big my boobs have gotton and today i missed you alot. And even though the older i get and the earlier school starts i will always call and sing to you just to remind you that i love you and i always will and to be honest i think you are my favorite adult well besides my mom obviusly but seriously you never actually talk to me like i was a kid or anything you always talked to me as if i was one of your closet friends or something and thats why i think i'm so damn i mean darn cool. and now looking back on all the years of school shopping and missions and weekends and birthday parties and basicly life now i'm noticing how blessed i am to have somebody like you in my life and how much i appriciate all the stuff you have done for me. Well i love you and call me later.
Do you see? This kid means the world to me; there have been few people who have made me laugh as much as she does. One of the hardest things about moving 400 miles north was knowing I wouldn't be involved in her life on an almost daily basis anymore. It still stings a lot.

Whether or not I ever get the honor of being someone's mother I recognize I've aleady been blessed.
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5 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

What a beautiful email to receive! Yes you are blessed. How wonderful. You must be very special for her to love you so much. :)

iamheatherjo said...

Aww! So very sweet. You are both very fortunate to have that bond. You're a special woman, sweetpea. Don't you ever forget it.

Flea was nice enough to have babies for Amy and me. She did such a good job on them that we don't have to have our own. Hee!;)

LL Cool Joe said...

Now, if I called you a sweetpea you'd think I'd lost my marbles, right? :D

suzy2110 said...

OK, sobbing like a little bitch here...

What a gorgeous email, and what a sweet girl. Make sure to always give that girl time, even when you have your own babies and time is short. She will always love you for it.

shmode said...

Aw man, ya made me go all mushy and stuff. What an awesome honour you have there, and an amazing bond.