We all know by now how I feel about becoming a mother. Not only for the past six months of actively trying (like a bitch), but really it's been a big thing for me for the better part of the last decade. I know some women who don't have the desire and I fully respect that choice. They've made a decision that's the best for them and I'm happy for them, just as I am for the ones who wanted and became mothers. For me however, I konw it would be the most rewarding and amazing thing I could ever experience. So, you know - no pressure or anything.
But. I can say I've been lucky enough to have a God-daughter (unofficial; sometimes she calls me her other mom, sometimes her aunt) in my life for the past thirteen (almost fourteen!) years and it's a relationship that has added so much to my life, it's indescribable.
Her name is Elizabeth (a.k.a. Lizard) and this is an email she wrote me a few months ago:
Kimmy you are like my second mother, you have been there for me through everything in life, well maybe not everything but pretty darn close. And i know you didn't get to come school shopping this year but in the dressing room while i was dancing in my underwear and a babydoll shirt i thought of you and how you always sat in the dressing room and every year told me how big my boobs have gotton and today i missed you alot. And even though the older i get and the earlier school starts i will always call and sing to you just to remind you that i love you and i always will and to be honest i think you are my favorite adult well besides my mom obviusly but seriously you never actually talk to me like i was a kid or anything you always talked to me as if i was one of your closet friends or something and thats why i think i'm so damn i mean darn cool. and now looking back on all the years of school shopping and missions and weekends and birthday parties and basicly life now i'm noticing how blessed i am to have somebody like you in my life and how much i appriciate all the stuff you have done for me. Well i love you and call me later.
Do you see? This kid means the world to me; there have been few people who have made me laugh as much as she does. One of the hardest things about moving 400 miles north was knowing I wouldn't be involved in her life on an almost daily basis anymore. It still stings a lot.
Whether or not I ever get the honor of being someone's mother I recognize I've aleady been blessed.