Friday, June 5, 2009

Whisper Words of Wisdom

I spoke with nurse Monique-the-freak at the fertility office and we scheduled the next appointment, which is the "Consultation" appointment that happens when the three IUI's are made of total fail. I guess I can see the need for this, but I'm fairly sure our options are pretty much IVF (Anybody got an extra ten to fifteen grand lying around? Huh, strangely I don't either), a surrogate (also pricey and see also: kinda freaky), adoption, or going back to having sex during that lucky four-hour window of ovulation I must have and hoping for the best, which hasn't seemed to work out so great thus far. Unless there's something new I haven't yet heard of, this is about it, right? Either way, the appointment isn't for another couple of weeks, as I opted to wait until the next time my doctor would be here rather than driving all the way the hell down to Charleston again.

A little while before that my social worker co-worker came to my office to see how I was doing. We talked for a few minutes and she asked me if adoption would be a consideration for us. I told her that yeah, I'm still open to whatever at this point. She told me she has a good friend with a lot of experience with this who'd be happy to talk to me about it if I wanted. That was nice to hear, though I'm not sure if I'd be comfortable taking her up on it, at least for now. Brian's aunt and uncle adopted one of his cousins and his aunt has let me know she'd be more than happy to talk to me about it as well. I'm not close with her, but I'd feel more comfortable with her than a complete stranger. But who knows. The fact I work in an environment like this, one that is partially devoted to this very thing, I think is an interesting detail in this whole thing. Who knows what could come of it and I'm certainly not ruling anything out.

Adoption. It's been on my mind a lot lately, which duh - shouldn't be too surprising. Like with Brian, one of my cousins was also adopted. So was one of my closest friends. So was one of my old boyfriends and his older sister, but he turned out to be a raging crackhead who has spent most of his adult life in prison and his sister went on to drop out of high school and have three or four differently fathered interracial illegitimate kids, all while living off of her mom and I think she also lives on the wrong side of the law. So maybe those aren't the best examples, but I was just composing a mental list. Before it became the latest celebrity trend, I feel like adoption has been an important and really amazing contribution to society and it's something I've always admired, long before I thought it might be something I'd even consider.

Of course, there is a ton of information about it which I have no clue about. I've avoided tapping into the internet just yet, as I'm pretty sure once I start I may not emerge again for days. I know it's there; it'll also still be there when I'm ready to read it. Right now it's hugely intimidating and scary, but so was this whole thing before we started the process. The unknown is always scarier, so I'm looking forward to when it becomes the known.

And with that, I bid you a lovely start to the weekend.


Anonymous said...

My pain-in-the-ass Princess of a best friend Cindy and her older sister Sharon were both adopted. They are fine upstanding citizens.

No, really! :D

Not Dooce said...

Love ur blog, but also want to comment that Dooce did NOT delete your comment:

266. Kim said:
I wasn't going to comment, then I saw the captcha - "demented museum." I mean, come on; it writes itself. It's too bad I'm too old to start my rock band, because that would totally be the name of it, plus the debut album.

Don't let the CL's twist ur mind with their bullshit. The least they could do is be accurate when jumping shit, no? I linked to ur blog from Dooces site. It's on there and it's current.

LL Cool Joe said...

Well you know my views on adoption too!

I'm adopted as well but I'm not sure you'd wanna end up with a screwed up kid like me, but my daughters seem to be doing ok.

In fairness to myself, I've never had the desire to find out anything about my adoption or birth mother so my adoptive parents must have done something right even though my Mum is a pain in the arse sometimes. ;)

Kim said...

Heather - Hopefully someday I'll get to meet Princess Cindy!

Not Dooce - that's really interesting; thanks for letting me know that.

Joe - I really appreciate all your input on this; thank you for sharing it with me.

Shari said...

I totally understand you not wanting to check out adoption until it's the right time, because I think if you get started you are going to be locked in for the ride, and that is definitely an EE ticket ride (and no you can't get off even if you feel like throwing up).

However, with that disclaimer, can you imagine having a little LIZ baby? OMG, stop the cuteness before someone gets hurt.

Kim said...

Shari - As long as she wouldn't turn into a Liz adult! Brian has mentioned that fear before. But I agree with you; the cuteness would be insane.

Anonymous said...

As with Joey, Princess Cindy nor her sister Sharon have ever had the slightest inclination to find their birth parents.

I'd love for you to meet her...and her Coach collection. ;)

Kim said...

I'd have to force myself not to lick her Coach collection. That would be embarrassing.

crisitunity said...

My best friend from college is adopted. She is Korean and was left by a river. She was found when she was a few days old and adopted by a New Jersey family. She seems to be unaffected by her adoption story, and aside from knowing that it would be impossible to trace her birth family, she doesn't seem particularly interested. She said her mother is her mother and her father is her father and that's that.

Just my non-personal experience.