Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Please excuse me while I spew some haterade for a minute.
So I think a few months ago I may have mentioned hanging out with one of Brian's cousins and his heinous girlfriend. I'm way too lazy to look it up, so for the sake of argument, let's pretend I have and keep this brief. I hated her. I was all excited to meet her and happy for him he'd finally gotten out of a poisonous relationship after ten years because he's a really nice guy. Nice, but clueless. I went in with high hopes and ended the day wishing I had one more day with her to complete my mission of mind fucking her because I was well on my way. She took my general dislike for people and brought it to a whole new level. I told Brian at the end of the day, "She's doing everything she can to reel him in and keep him there." Brian, being a nicer person dismissed the idea until I brought up relevant facts.
- Any chance she got to talk about his parents and how much they love her, she went for it. She's a smart one. She knew the last girlfriend hated his parents and wanted nothing to do with them and in return they didn't like her. She took this info and ran with it, socializing with them as much as possible, even times when D wasn't home. Oldest trick in the book - get in with the parents and make sure to become the best girlfriend ever in their eyes.
- She brought up to me not once but several times how she wouldn't let D spend money like the ex used to make him do. (Because let me explain something. He has a ton of money. I'm not trying to be cynical, but that's a big big draw for some women.)
- Anytime we talked about the family, she jumped in with her opinion and an ancedote of her own though she'd only been dating him a few months at the time
- She point blank asked me, "What size diamond is that?" about my engagement ring. Apparently she's never heard of a thing called sublety. Or tact. I'm well aware that women check out each other's All Important Finger and what's on it; hell, I do it myself. But I can promise you I've never asked someone I just met what size their ring is.
Being a woman myself for all these years has taught me some things. And when I get a negative feeling about someone, nine times out of ten I'm right. Seriously, ask anyone. By the end of the day Brian had to slightly agree with me and said yeah, D does have a bad habit of being whipped by his women.
This is all leading up to a big finale.
Yesterday I found out she's pregnant. Not only is she pregnant, but she got that way very shortly after we saw them and is expecting the baby in December. Now, is it me or does that not fall in line and completely support my theory? See, we decided she seemed like a pretty insecure person to exhibit the type of behavior she did with us and in front of us. And she knew that even though D and his ex were no longer together, every time they'd broken up in the past he always ended up back with her. The ex also had a child who wasn't D's biologically but whom he was very attached to and who had always called him Dad. But! This chick saw to it that wasn't going to happen again, no sir. If he likes kids so much than by God, I'll give him one and top her by giving him one of his own.
Welcome to the family, you scheming whore. At this point, all I can do is hope and pray she treats D well and that he's happy with her.
In other news, I'm very excited about several Fall clothing trends. Short-sleeved jackets, Mary Jane shoes - things seem preppier this year than they have in awhile. Right up my alley. Why did that just sound dirty? I didn't mean for it to. By the way, I've started putting clothes up on the new shelf and was horrified to find out I have 42 pairs of pants, not counting jeans. Um. How can this be? In my defense, there are many different sizes in there to cover my ever-shrinking and expanding needs, but still. If you've ever wondered how many different colors of khaki there are, come to my house and I'll show you.
Damn, talking about how much I dislike another girl and then clothes. PMS anyone?

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