Laments and Observations

There's a ton of stuff out there today (though not enough in my opinion) about remembering 9/11 and most of it is written by people a lot more talented than I am. I'm not here to preach, theorize, spout off; just know it's heavy on me today, like it has been every year since it happened. It's easy to shrug off now; time does have a way of not erasing, but blurring the edges a little, which is essential for any form of grief, but it's still weird. Kids Elizabeth's age were six when it happened - they might have vague memories of their parents pulling them out of school that day or everybody acting sad and watching the news nonstop, kind of like how I remember Elvis dying and Regan getting shot. Which, fine - kids have enough to worry about these days without having to vividly relive that nightmare.

Weird.

Seven years ago this morning I was working at some horrible little job in Lake City where to have the internet, I had to walk a phone line across the room and plug it into a jack. I only did this when I was the only one in the office for obvious reasons, so I wasn't online when it happened but I did have the radio on. And I thought, along with everyone else when the first plane hit, huh. That's weird and really bad. When the second plane hit I started to get scared and by the time news got out about the Pentagon, Brian had showed up at my office. I honestly thought for a little while there, Welp, this is it. We're done; over and out. (Yeah, and I said it in that calm of a way too; can't you just picture it?)

That day was also the beginning of a chain of events that put my life into hell on earth for the next year and a half or so. I am very thankful I didn't lose anyone in the attacks, but I'll always associate this day with my own personal grief as well. All in all, not a good day, not a good time period, if I dwell on it too much I can actually vomit on cue. One of the oddest things to come out of all that was my habit of listening to talk radio. A lot of it. For awhile it was the only thing I could listen to and though I'm not that whack now, I still listen to it almost every day when before I would've rather listen to the emergency broadcast test bleeps. Talk radio, me. Very strange.It's been a crazy, sad, messed up, challenging seven years since this has happened. We're still at war. We still don't have adequate national security or secure borders. We are going through probably the most devisive election in our history. Our generation has a legitimate story to tell the next one now, just like we got to hear about Vietnam from our parents and they World War II from theirs. It is a rite of passage I never thought we'd make.