Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Happy Erection Day!

That was neither a typo, nor me talking with a Chinese accent. By the time tonight gets here, Brian is going to be so freaked out, the only way I'll be able to calm his nerves is with a nice blowjob. Believe me - I've lived with him for over twelve years; I know how to handle these things.

New friend Heather (as opposed to old friend Heather) brought something to my attention and I'm going to have to make a retraction to the blog from Sunday. Zack & Miri, while still a great movie, is no Chasing Amy. I think I was too fresh from the post-theater glow to have enough of an objective opinion on the matter. She was right - this movie didn't even have Jason Lee in it, for one thing, and that right there loses a couple of points. Official retraction executed.
Sooo...let's see...something to discuss besides the election...hmm.



Shit. It's pointless. I can't think of anything. So I'll just say this. I don't care anymore. I don't care whose side you're on. I don't care who wins. (Yeah, right) But seriously, I am so, so effing tired of this. I'm pretty sure everybody is. I know in my lifetime there's never been a more devisive atmosphere when it comes to politics. Over the weekend I almost got into a serious argument with my own family, MY OWN FAMILY, the people I love most in this world, because of this bullshit. It's ridiculous already. What's going to happen is going to happen and really there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it (well besides voting, but you know what I mean, damn it).

As a Jew and world-class worrier, I'm tired of devoting energy to thinking, talking, arguing, being pissed off and whatever else about this. I'm glad at least the anticipation is going to be over with soon. Maybe people will calm the fuck down now. I have a lovely sedative just waiting for me at home tonight and that, plus Operation Blowjob will hopefully keep us nice and peaceful. I don't think I've ever wanted another TV as much as I do tonight, because although I'd just like to ignore it all and watch cartoons, that is not going to happen. It worked last night when I made him turn it from the news to Family Guy, but that was last night.

Are you happy you stopped by to read today? Glad to know at some point tonight I'll be servicing my husband? It's kind of gross, isn't it? Too much information? Yeah well, sorry. No matter what happens tonight, at least I'm comforted by the fact I'll still have my freedom of speech come tomorrow.

Well, maybe. Ha.


Anonymous said...

You and me... attached at the brain. How scary is THAT??? :D

Anonymous said...

I was reading this from my Blackberry at work and laughing myself silly! Sillier?


I think I need to watch 'Chasing Amy' again...with the commentary going. You know, while you're busy and all that. ;)

Anonymous said...

ha ha! i love your strategy.
luckily (or sadly?) for me, my bf doesn't get to worked up about politics, so i can use my mouth for the screaming and celebrating :)

we went to one of our favorite dinner spots/clubs tonight to celebrate his return to tucson after a month and a half in nyc - and watch the elections - and he actually ate dinner by himself, because i kept jumping up and running into the lobby to watch the news.
i'm a bitch like that.