Okay, let's stop with all the Christmas talk for now. I need to get through turkey-related proceedings before I can relax and enjoy this first holiday that's coming up in, what - LESS THAN TWO WEEKS! What the hell!
Today is the day.
We're going to his parents' for lunch and I'm quite certain his mom is going to ask what we're doing for Thanksgiving. She's not going to be happy with the answer. We've decided to go with the same story as last year, that we're going to Hilton Head to eat with some of my relatives. While it's true I do have relatives there, I haven't seen them in six years. So, not a complete fabrication, just a harmless little fib.
I'm scared Brian might cave though. As much as he liked last year, he started making guilty noises the other day. Then I slapped the sense back into him. I mean, really - what would you rather do, relax, have fun and enjoy the holiday or spend all day dressed presentably, traveling and eating with people you mostly don't even know?
Both of us come from big families. His is bigger than mine even. And don't get me wrong - I do love getting together, especially on holidays. I think I've mentioned several (hundred) times how much I'm looking forward to Christmas. His mom's side is the part of the family that does the Christmas thing and it's always fun. T-giving however, is a different story. That's his stepdad's side. In a small town two hours north of here. A day which we wouldn't be able to smoke all day, since we're 13 years old and don't smoke in front of them. A day in which they'd INSIST on driving up together, because why would we even WANT to take separate cars and miss out on all that fun driving time together. Oh...oh God. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
No! I'm an adult, damn it! A hard working, tax paying, productive member of society! Why am I so nervous - besides the one turkey hiding in the dryer incident, we pulled it off without a hitch last year. They were disappointed, but the flurry of Christmas activity afterwards soon made her forget. Also we told her the food wasn't even close to being as good as hers, and really that's all she needed to hear.
The thing is, the Jew in me is strong (and guilt-ridden) and I hate disappointing people. The guilt, it is so bad. I'm a pleaser. I'm a peace-keeper. I like making people happy, not sad or mad. And I HATE that about myself! I so so wish I could be more like an old friend of mine who doesn't give one shit about anyone else's feelings. He is mean, selfish, loud and obnoxious, puts himself above all others always, yet everybody loves him. How do I learn that? Is there a surgery for removing your conscience? Because if so, sign me up.
Before the holidays, preferably.