Monday, March 30, 2009

Babble

What say a short list? Yes, I think so.

Things that have/will happen on my short STAYcation. (The cutesy and highly annoying word that came about last summer when people got too poor to take real vacations, as reported in the increasingly annoying State newspaper. You STAY at home for VAcation! So witty! Opposite!)

- I went grocery shopping. This was extremely exciting for obvious reasons, the most being we were out of anything fun to eat, plus non-fun but essential items like eggs, bread and milk. Then Iris gave me butter, tuna fish and cake mix yesterday. She figures we're poor but should not have to go without cake and I completely agree. But I wish I hadn't spent two dollars on my own butter the day before.

- I stayed in the tanning bed one minute too long - ALWAYS. It doesn't matter how many years' experience I've logged with this particular activity; there will come a time when I get overly confident and forget what a delicate flower my skin is. Ten minutes? Cool. Eleven minutes? I can barely sit down, my ass hurts so much and also I have the chills but I'm also hot and itchy. Perfect.

- I did a buncha laundry and so last night was Clean Sheet Night. I don't know why I don't do that more often. Both. Clean sheets are one of God's gifts to mankind.

- Sometimes George is weird(er) than usual. Yesterday right before "dinner," he said apropos of nothing, "Wow, we're having beans AND peas today? It's going to be a good day!" Brian looked up from the paper at me and I just made big '00' eyes. Because seriously, what the hell?

- Trying to keep things as a-political as usual around here, but I am a little alarmed with the development this morning that the CEO of General Motors was fired ("asked to resign") by the current administration because they can now do that to any private company who has taken bailout money. Have you ever taken a favor from the mafia and then had to pay up but when it came time to pay up you also surprisingly got it straight in the ass with no lube and no apology afterwards? The governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, is one of the only ones who has thus far not taken any in-the-ass-with-no-lube money and that makes me (sort of) happy, but who knows what's going to happen, which leads me to...

- I'm starting to seriously think about looking for a second job. It wouldn't be the first time; in fact I've been very lucky with the second jobs I've held in the past. I used to help clean the office before hours, after hours and on the weekends, along with Johnann, who still does it. It was time consuming, but not difficult, especially considering it was nice being at the office, just us, before anyone else got there to interrupt and annoy us. The extra money was awesome. Before that, I helped the lady who was almost my mother-in-law, Delorme's mom with her pet-sitting business. THAT was time consuming, especially when I had a job that lasted more than a week that involved dogs who had to be fed, watered, walked and played with twice a day. But I love dogs. And cats. Even some fish and an iguana once. I really liked pet sitting. Some extra perks included the old people who couldn't figure out how to get the speakers to work on their huge screen TV they'd just bought and instead of trying to figure it out, gave us the TV. We hauled it home, hooked up some stereo speakers to it and SHAZAM - poor people with a big-ass TV! Until Brian and Chris packed it wrong when we moved eighty miles south to Tampa and when we got to the new house the TV had a huge splintering crack in it and made a musical tinkling sound when moved. Oops. Has anyone ever divorced over a broken TV? Because I almost did. Anyblah, that would be what I would look into first, because obviously in a situation of dogs vs. people, I will choose dogs every time. (Fun fact: dog owners ALWAYS had cleaner, better-smelling homes than cat owners. It was almost as if the cat people felt a responsibility to live up to the stereotype, especially the weird lady who lived alone in a condo - well, alone 'cept for the eight cats, three litter boxes and toxic waste fumes. I've had plenty of friends with cats, including myself and I don't know - I've never found it difficult to clean up after them. I can't hack the smell of cat piss and don't understand anyone who can.)

- I hate to bring up the mafia again, but I'm finding life is a lot less satisfying without it. Last night we started debating over who's fault it was that Adrianna had to be killed (he thinks it was her fault; I blame Christopher, obviously) and I had got a serious urge to throw in the Sopranos Season One dvd, even though that's the only season I own. I'm reading a book right now that has some mafia dude in it, so that will have to suffice. For now. When I finish my Sopranos collection, in the next ten or twenty years, I'm going to re-watch the entire series. I'm all about developing goals and then achieving them.

- Brian's cousin just got here from Florida and I think they're going turkey hunting. Why?

Good day!

10 comments:

crisitunity said...

I didn't know Adriana got killed. THANKS.

Kim said...

I don't know how anyone could not know that by now, but oops. Sorry! I'm terrible with spoilers.

iamheatherjo said...

I didn't even know who you were talking about until you said the name of the show because I don't watch it and I've never had the interest to check out the episodes at the library. Weird.

So, I didn't know either. BWAHAHA! ;)

When are you making cake? What time shall I be over?

Kim said...

Let me amend that to say "People who have/had any interest in watching the show The Sopranos." Because I didn't think you fell into that category, although it makes me sad to know that because I think you would love it.
I just found out the cake mix calls for vegetable oil when I have nine sticks of butter. CRAP!

snerkology said...

It cracked me up that in one bullet you started talking about finding a new job, and ended with a rant against cat piss. We are SO wired the same way.

LL Cool Joe said...

So you've been tangoed then? :D

I have to say that any house that you walk into that homes a pet seems to stink. If it's not the smell of piss and crap, it's the dettox that people use to get rid of it.

I could never get over how much one small hamster in a cage could smell a room out either.

morethananelectrician said...

See...you will show us a photo of you mouthing a dildo, but no pictures of your sun (although artificial) ripened "you know what"... If you are embarrassed, you could still give us a body double...

morethananelectrician said...

And...Adriana's fault. Don't get involved with mob guy.

Kim said...

Snerk - I didn't even realize that, but yes that's the way my mind works. Scary, isn't it?

Joe - It's true! And I have a dog that smells like DOG. I use carpet powder but I doubt it helps much.

MTAE - My red ass is not fit for human eyes. Trust me. And I DO NOT agree with you; Christopher was a puss who suffered from inferiority and identity crisis'.

iamheatherjo said...

Ahem! Dog owners who don't have carpet and keep the doggie blankies clean have homes that smell nice.

I should know. I used to be one. :(