Yesterday I joked on Twitter that I was scared of getting swine flu but then remembered I'm Jewish. (Thanks Annette for joke inspiration) Then I wake up this morning to the disturbing news there are now seventeen confirmed cases of it not only here in S.C., but in Newberry County which is the next county over from WHERE I SIT RIGHT HERE. Not that I'm panicking; don't be ridiculous. I'm Jewish, remember? But seriously, Sundry mentioned Stephen King's The Stand, which is one of those I re-visit every few years or so; you know - the story where the flu wipes out all of civilization? Not recommended for early summer reading right now. I first read that as an impressionable teenager and I can't understand why I didn't become a paranoid germaphobe recluse. Oh, wait.
I've oft joked about Brian's propensity toward run-for-the-hills survival procedures. The ever-growing gun collection (now with more ammo!), the various survival guides. The honing of the hunting skills. I could argue when we moved back here to be close to his family again that was the first step in our preparations for the apocalypse, except we moved from a large city to a semi-large city, which is also the Capital of a state, and our neighborhood now is spitting distance from the entrance gates to a major military base. Oops. But! If you think he hasn't scoped out some property in the country very close to here that has definite bunker-type potential, you are so wrong. And don't worry - the compound is big enough for us and about thirty of our closest friends and I'm looking forward to the start of my very own compound. It's always been a dream of mine. Except no Mormons allowed - this isn't some Big Love shit up in this piece. Unless Bill Paxton is involved; then I'd be more than happy to share.
So, let's see - conspiracy theorists, whatcha think. 2012 - was that Mayan calendar on the money? Biblically, things are starting to freak me out and I don't even know the Bible that well. But that Revelations part I read in seventh grade kind of stuck with me over the years. Politically, haha! Oy, don't get me started. Well, I think I have it. Here's how you know when you need to make suitable preparations for the end of the world: the day I announce I'm pregnant. Should you get that announcement here, do not panic. Just let me know if you want to be part of my new compound and you'll get in on the ground floor. And by ground floor, I mean literally it'll be made out of dirt. There are a couple of my good friends who, especially on nights when we were Not-sober, well, we've discussed the compound idea at great length, let's just put it that way. At least I know AC/DC was right then; my friends ARE gonna be there too!
Up for sale soon, my new t-shirt: "Where are we going and what am I doing in this handbasket?"