Monday, April 27, 2009

Sunday, bloody Sunday

This post is coming to you from a remote corner of Siberia, where I ran away to escape reality. Just kidding - why the hell would anyone go to Siberia? I'd go to Alaska. But I can't afford it right now.

I got my period yesterday. Yeah, it sucked. What really sucked was Saturday morning when I was in the middle of hurredly making an apple pie and playing with my new haircut and picking out what I was wearing to the cook-out and I went to the bathroom, wiped and saw a wee bit of color on the toilet paper. I thought I would be able to hold my shit together but before I could tell Brian what happened he noticed I was shaking. Way to betray me, whatever bodily system causes you to shake. I had a small breakdown then, and told him sorry but there was no way I was going to the festivities when I figured I'd be bleeding any hour now and he totally understood and went by himself. He knows my limit.

So when the blood did eventually arrive yesterday morning, I was already post-freakout and it wasn't too bad. Of course I spent the entire weekend reading and watching mindless TV (I LOVE the Real Housewives of NYC now) and now I'm at work and feeling okay. I am thankful again that I work in a fairly isolated location and can hide behind a closed door most of the day. Sometimes for me it's best to keep human contact to a minimum.

I was reading a collection of short stories by Alice Munro yesterday and in one of them the husband/father was just this total dick. MEAN, mean man. The wife loved the kids completely, but led a miserable life with him. I got up to get some grape juice and passed Brian in the dining room. Without saying anything, he just gave me this awesome and much-needed hug. Timing is everything. I'm going through something that is just flat out emotionally draining right now, but I have an amazing person helping me through it and I need to tell him that more often.

Just being out of the house I already feel more human. And there's certainly not a lack of things to do here to keep busy, so best get to 'em. Thanks for all your words of support; they really do make it so much easier. And laughing is good right now, so if you get a chance, I wouldn't mind hearing a joke or two. I still can laugh and that is good.


Anonymous said...

So sorry, Kim. :(

I'll be back later when I can think of a suitably offensive joke for you. I think it will have to be an extra rude one!!!

Julie said...

I'm sorry, Kim. I know this is an emotionally draining journey. I wish I was there to give you a hug and let you vent to me. I really do understand. My sister Laura told me once, while I was in the middle of some of my darkest moments of IVF, "Julie, you will have a child someday. I don't know when, and I'm not sure how, but I know you will someday be a mother if you really want to be." It helped me a lot to get through the disappointments. I will try to think of some funny anecdotes to share with you. Unfortunely, my life is rather dull, and I'm afraid I'm not very funny. If you like potty humor, my blog has a picture of a rhinoceros with an enormous organ. For some reason, everyone standing around at the zoo found it hysterical. HUGS!

crisitunity said...

I'm so sorry, Kim. I don't know how I can convey the enormity of sorry I am, actually.

Try this.

Anonymous said...

Psst...I, like, love you and stuff. And if you want to run away, you are always welcome here. Cheaper than Alaska AND Siberia.

LL Cool Joe said...

Shit, I'm so sorry Kim. :(

Swistle said...

This is the suckest suck. I'm angry at the universe.

Anonymous said...

Aww, sweetie. I'm so sorry. HUGS.

Jokes... Jokes... erm. Yeah. The only one I can think of right now is the "interrupting cow" knock-knock joke, which is way better in person. I'll come back once I wake up and think of something better.

Anonymous said...

Ah shit, that completely sucks Kim. I was so hoping this was the time.

I love watching cats do hilarious things on Youtube so here's a video that's quite funny and if you want you can keep going and seeing more because there is a ton!

Taoist Biker said...

Goddamn it. Pissing outside was giving me an excuse to get out of my STILL NO AC office!

Hmm. Jokes. Jokes.


A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something.

"Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?"

"Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it is a matter of life or death."

"Oh, really? How's that?" "There's a naked woman waiting for me at home."

"I don't see how that is a matter of life or death."

"If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man."

Anonymous said...

Maybe you can go to Alaska and work a crab have gotten me hooked on that show. It is also on my Netflix player and we are half way through sesaon wife is hooked too.

I have many days where hiding from humanity is the best temp fix...

Shari said...

Dammit!! I am so sorry for you guys. "Where there is no hope, we must create it and carry on." I don't know who said it, but it sounds like a Brit and it helps me get through the mire sometimes.

I do have a something that might make you laugh. The love story of Ralph and Edna.....Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

Whiskeymarie said...

When I saw the title of the post I sighed and said "shit" under my breath.

Well, shit, honey. Ain't this just a big 'ol pile?

I am nothing if not optimistic- this will happen for you, it will.