This post is coming to you from a remote corner of Siberia, where I ran away to escape reality. Just kidding - why the hell would anyone go to Siberia? I'd go to Alaska. But I can't afford it right now.
I got my period yesterday. Yeah, it sucked. What really sucked was Saturday morning when I was in the middle of hurredly making an apple pie and playing with my new haircut and picking out what I was wearing to the cook-out and I went to the bathroom, wiped and saw a wee bit of color on the toilet paper. I thought I would be able to hold my shit together but before I could tell Brian what happened he noticed I was shaking. Way to betray me, whatever bodily system causes you to shake. I had a small breakdown then, and told him sorry but there was no way I was going to the festivities when I figured I'd be bleeding any hour now and he totally understood and went by himself. He knows my limit.
So when the blood did eventually arrive yesterday morning, I was already post-freakout and it wasn't too bad. Of course I spent the entire weekend reading and watching mindless TV (I LOVE the Real Housewives of NYC now) and now I'm at work and feeling okay. I am thankful again that I work in a fairly isolated location and can hide behind a closed door most of the day. Sometimes for me it's best to keep human contact to a minimum.
I was reading a collection of short stories by Alice Munro yesterday and in one of them the husband/father was just this total dick. MEAN, mean man. The wife loved the kids completely, but led a miserable life with him. I got up to get some grape juice and passed Brian in the dining room. Without saying anything, he just gave me this awesome and much-needed hug. Timing is everything. I'm going through something that is just flat out emotionally draining right now, but I have an amazing person helping me through it and I need to tell him that more often.
Just being out of the house I already feel more human. And there's certainly not a lack of things to do here to keep busy, so best get to 'em. Thanks for all your words of support; they really do make it so much easier. And laughing is good right now, so if you get a chance, I wouldn't mind hearing a joke or two. I still can laugh and that is good.