Holy hot dogs, am I glad the weekend is here. I could complain about what a shittastic week I had at work, but that wouldn't do anybody any good, so you are formally spared. (You're welcome) Sometimes it's good to take a little break from reality, so with that in mind...
Like a lot of people, I think, a big part of my life is lived in my head. I have friends (no, really!) and family and a husband I live with, but sometimes a good part of my day is spent imagining I'm existing in a different sort of way. Not as a different person, per se, just me and my life, only better. Does anyone else do this or did I just admit something really sad and embarrassing? Oh well; I've admitted worse.
For example: I live in a quirky little house in a decent neighborhood. Nothing fancy by any means, but perfectly acceptable. I live in South Carolina and work at the University of. But in my head, I live in a bigger (but not huge - who needs all that extra house cleaning?) nicer house on the lake (I usually picture Brian's dad's house, where the picture at the top of my blog was taken) and still work for the University, only in a more exciting, better paying position (okay, I'll be honest here - as a tenured professor in the English department, where my office not only has a door, but also is full of book shelves that line every wall and maybe includes an original Van Gogh and a ficus tree. Why not. In real life I drive an 8-year-old Saturn SC1, so in my head I drive a cute newish Saturn Vue. Or if I'm feeling frisky, it's a Honda CRV or a Ford Escape - any small SUV will do. But I'm not fantasizing about a Mercedes is my point. Keeping it real is key.
That's the gist of it and it's pretty much as far as it goes, because if it was too different from my real life it would just be silly (Ha!). Such as, I don't fantasize about being a mother, because at this point that still seems too far out of reach and different. Of course I still wish to be a mother; I just don't daydream about it. That might be a little confusing, but stay with me here. Another example: I don't fantasize about having a good relationship with my mom, because sadly that too is really far-fetched and I wouldn't even begin to know how to dream that. But maybe I'm happy enough in my fantasy life, some of it rubs off on her, and we do have a better relationship...I don't know; I've never bothered to put any thought into that.
But here's the weird part. I've done this for a very long time - it probably dates back to when I was a kid. Actually I know it does, because Sister and I used to have this thing where we'd ride around on a golf cart, or hit a tennis ball back and forth or go to sleep in the same room at night and we told each other our "stories," (So actually, I know at least one other person in the world does this - sorry to rat you out, Sister!) and that lasted far into our late teenage years. By the time we were in high school, we'd entertain each other with stories of our escapades as Jon Bon Jovi's and Richie Sambora's girlfriends - I'm the oldest so of course I got to have Jon - and it was just as much fun sharing as it is having these thoughts by myself. But I guess my "stories," have gotten more realistic as time has passed. The weird thing is though, many of the things I've conjured in my weirdo head have come true. In order to maybe preserve a small shred of dignity I won't go into detail, but trust me, it's true.
I don't know if this falls under the category of the Power of Positive Thinking, or just Being a Psycho, but I do know thinking good thoughts doesn't hurt. So take note - if I ever write about how we're moving into his dad's house out at the lake, remember: you heard it here first.