Thursday, June 11, 2009

Blame it on midnight, shame on the moon

I believe there are evil forces trying to keep Jillian and I apart. We have a stupid problem with the dvd player and that is the remote is no longer with us. Of course I couldn't view the workout portion of the dvd without having a remote to skip through the menu. So that was Tuesday. Yesterday I stopped by the Deathstar to pick up a new cheap dvd player, since we've tried the universal remote route and that was a big fail. The one I'd seen advertised for $29.99 was of course sold out. I'm not paying more than that, when we ALREADY HAVE ONE at home. Either way, I'm hoping to rectify this situation tomorrow. In the meantime, I've started upping the ante on the stepper by throwing some light hand weights into the mix. It's so unbelievably crazy how quickly I turn into a bright red, shaky, worn out mess due to how frighteningly out of shape I am! I know it won't be like this for long, as I usually bounce back fairly quickly, but last night I was just embarrassed. And I did it while I was home alone. I have the feeling it's going to be awhile before I show my face (or boobs) at a gym.

There are many things I'm willing to do to get back into shape but I can tell you what isn't one of them. Skim milk. Light mayonaise. Low calorie cheese. Okay, that's more than one thing. Whatever; I'm not ever going there again. Skim milk makes my Rice Krispies look purple, light mayo looks like jizz and low cal cheese should be used as an adhesive, but not ever injested. For me it's about portion control and cutting out the extra crap. I know all the tricks that work for me; now it's a matter of employing them. Which I've started doing and already I feel a little better. Forward momentum is so much nicer than being stagnant.

As if I wasn't already a little nervous about Sister flying across the pond tomorrow, she called me this morning to tell me she accidentally cut the tip of her finger off yesterday while pruning her tomato plant. Not enough to warrant stitches, but enough so that the doctor had to pump some weird foam or gel stuff in there to help coagulate the blood and also her fingerprint might be permanently altered. So yeah, MTAE, you thought YOUR finger injury was a good one? My sister just totally topped it. Not that anyone would want to be the winner in a contest like that. I was instantly nauseous as she described it to me. But now she gets to go to England with Vicodin, so all's well that ends well.

I just found out our bid was accepted to clean the Rednecks' place out and that it needs to be done like yesterday. Thanks for all the advance notice, dicks. So now all of a sudden we have another work-filled weekend ahead. Hopefully though I personally will be far removed from the physical work, but I'll be more than happy to type up and submit the invoice! If things keep going this well, I daresay I might actually be going to Florida next month for realsies. *Knocks particle board* Brian also has a tile job scheduled for two weeks from now, which I'm excited about mainly for the potential of leftover tile, but also holy cow - had this many side jobs come BEFORE he started back working full-time, we would've been doing fine the past few months. But I guess what would be the fun in that.

Speaking of the Reds, Brian found out some really good friends of ours we thought still lived in a different state have moved back to this area recently. They are also rednecks, but are way more entertaining and fun than the Rednecks. In fact, they make Nick & Sheri look like suburbanites or something. They used to keep one of Dale Earnhardt's tires in their living room as a showpiece. That type of thing. They're who we got stuck on the lake on their boat during a tornado with and stuck out in the woods when we accidentally sunk into a mud hole and had to walk four miles in forty degree weather back to a Waffle House to call someone for help. They are AWESOME! We only have a couple of vague clues as to where they might be, so I've been furiously Googling away. This is one reunion I am very much looking forward to.

Our yard was so lit up with fireflies last night, it was awesome. Between that and the sight of the big orange moon, I made peace with Summer for a minute.

4 comments:

iamheatherjo said...

I wish Vicodin worked on me. But it doesn't. I hope Sister has a great time!

I resent the fact that I have to use mayo in stuff that I like (deviled eggs, tater salad). I try to use as little as possible and add more mustard or something because I think mayo is disgusting. I have no problems omitting that from my diet!

American cheese is icky in the low fat stuff, but the mozarella isn't too bad. Again, it wasn't a real problem just to omit it from my sandwiches and stuff altogether.

Yet, I'm still chubby. ;)

snerkology said...

"Our yard was so lit up with fireflies last night, it was awesome."

Oh, man. INSTANT homesickness. WAAAAAH!

Okay, yeah. Skim milk is of the devil (if you can't get by on 2% you shouldn't be drinking milk at ALL, IMHO), lowfat cheese tastes like rubber to me (except the skim mozzerella and the skim ricotta, which taste the same to me as the full fat stuff), and don't even get me STARTED on low fat/fat free mayo. BLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEECK. Full fat all the way, baby. I try to be sparing on mayo, but I do adore it.

My particular problem is carbs and starch. Bread, potatoes (NOM), pasta, rice... basically all the stuff that South Beach says no-no to. Plus potato chips and Doritos - I'm a salty/crunchy girl. I find that if I really, truly, RIGIDLY stick to South Beach, the pounds really do come off. But I have no willpower whatsoever. Like, none. Nada. Zip.

morethananelectrician said...

Need pictures of the finger to qualify as "topping"...and a guest post describing the incident. Second hand information is an automatic disqualifier.

Kim said...

Heather - well, Vicodin doesn't work on me anymore either, but that's because I used to eat it like candy. Yum! And oh how I wish I didn't like mayo, but thank God I can be sparing with it too.

Snerk - I agree; I'm a total carb fiend. The best I can hope for is to try to severely limit my intake. And yes, I love 2% milk. I can go to 1%, but I don't like it and that's as low as I'll go.

MTAE - I will request a picture from her. I'm sure she'll be happy to oblige. Since she's high on Vicodin now.